The Battle for Self-worth


What is faith? It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead
From the Bible, book of Hebrews Chapter 11 verse 1

I believe in God. I trust Jesus 100%. I try to read my Bible as frequently as I can, pray and love people (Mmhmm I try! but some people just have a knack of getting on my last nerve. Still…).

Growing up as part of the church circle, two of the popular phrases I heard were: ‘Put all your confidence in God and not in yourself‘ and ‘humble yourself before God‘, truths I absolutely believe in. Now, I do not have any seminary nor pastoral pedigree so I cannot break down the mysteries to those phrases for one good reason:

This sister doesn’t know any mysteries to break down!

BUT I can talk real.

What is Confidence?


Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else. It’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place

My definition… Confidence is having the boldness to be the best version of yourself AT ALL TIMES without comparing yourself to others.

So reducing yourself (or your capabilities) so as not to be considered ‘self-confident’ by other people is not humility because that is not the best version of yourself. That is false humility and it has never done anyone any good. This is so prevalent in the church community and I always wondered why. My guess and perception is that some (actually a lot of) people fear they would be perceived as not trusting God or ‘trying’ to take the glory from God if they did anything confidently.

Well I guess if I walk around all day wondering whether I am the queen then I just as well might be, eh?

The closest analogy (which still falls very short) I can come up with to describe the irrationality of this fear is this; Do you think an ant ever worries about trampling on an elephant?

Knowing that you have the ability, knowledge, expertise, training, skill or gift to do something and yet claim to be ‘not good enough’, ‘a work in progress’, ‘trusting God to do it’, ‘will try by the grace of God’ is all but false humility.

That is akin to selling a Chanel jumbo handbag worth £3700 for £300. Who does that?

I can do all things because Christ gives me the strength”
From the Bible, the book of Philippians chapter 4 verse 13

Confidence is not being better than the next person. It is having the boldness to do anything as exceptionally as you possibly can.

P.S. – If you know, think or feel that your ability is not exceptional yet, never worry. Humble yourself before God (and men) and patiently study (learn, train, practice, ask, whichever works for you) to show yourself approved (confident).

Arrogance? Mmhmm


Arrogance is the camouflage of insecurity”
Tim Fargo

As someone who used to suffer from this pathetic disease a long long time ago, I can tell you this – Arrogance is an overcompensated inferiority complex because it does not make room for others.

I have learned that it’s okay for an individual to have more skill, knowledge or ability than the next guy. We all go through different stages of capability as we go through life and it’s possible to have two people with the same gifting or abilities at different levels with their abilities . There are lots of factors that can influence this such as hard work, opportunities, experience, motivation, available resources, environment, people, etc

So, it’s okay to be able to do ‘more’ than others. Just keep in mind that it does not make a person better (or more special) than the next person. It just means they are better at doing certain things than other people.

Arrogance then is:

  1. I deserve it because I am better
  2. Because theirs is so good, I won’t do mine
  3. Shoving people out of the way to get to the front (I wonder where I saw that happen…)
  4. Thinking of yourself as something or someone you (and probably people around you) know you are not. So if you log around with you the consciousness that your actions may be ‘taking the glory from God’ (for my Christian peeps), you may well be thinking of yourself as someone you CLEARLY are not.

So the question here isn’t ‘are you confident or arrogant?’

That is obvious.

The real question to ask is ‘do you make room for others while staying true to yourself?’  

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4 comments on “The Battle for Self-worth

  1. Lawson Ogubie

    This is greatly insightful and inspirational. Thank you sharing. More grace for more!!!


  2. Chikezie nwariwe

    Thanks so much for sharing this. A lot to learn from this wonderful piece.


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