Surgeon 1: “Millicent, I’m going to need you to push”
Me: “you are kidding me right?”
Surgeon 2: “No he’s not. It’s ok, we just need you to push”
Me: “but I’m having a C-Section and I can’t feel my legs” (at this point, it hadn’t occurred to me to ask WHY)
Surgeon 2: “it’s ok, just push and your body will respond”
Me: attempting a semblance of a push while thinking… “They crazy!”
Bud: looking animated and sounding like a minion that just saw José Mourinho… “Oh wow! Babe! The baby just moved! I can see more of him! Push some more!
Me: thinking… “Jesus take the wheel of this drama”

Being a first time mum can be such an exhilarating feeling…


It can also make one a Mumzilla –
“You are holding his head all wrong”
“His nappy is too tight”
“Who touched the thermostat?”
“Sssshhhhhh! Your breathing is too loud”
“Why is he crying?” (Like anyone would know).
“Whoever moved the bottle of milk I left over at the table, I don’t know who you are. But I will look for you, I will find you… and you will pay!”

For the record, I am not copping to anything here (Mmhmm).


A century ago when I found out I was pregnant (being pregnant takes forever!), I went through a rollercoaster of emotions – anger, confusion, slight apprehension and the big question;

What happens now?

Well, what happened was that I got sick and stayed sick for a long time, dealt with some intense cravings (man! Those cravings are for real), was unable to work, canceled some of my gigs and suffered periods of epic brain freeze.

Don’t even get me started on the gymnastics and angle of inclination one needs to calculate to be able to get somewhat decent sleep.


The struggle was real!

The blessing was also real as I had the most amazing support (physically, mentally and spiritually) I could ever have hoped for.

So here are a few pointers I can share from my experience…

1. Becoming a mum is a HUGE commitment and a unique experience.

Don’t do it for anyone but yourself and your partner.

2. It’s ok to cry


Just because it’s normal for a pregnant woman to have morning sickness, experience moments of fatigue, loss of appetite, have back pains, act lethargic, put on weight and forget or mix up details every now and then; just because the pain and discomfort you feel has been declared ‘normal’ doesn’t mean you should suffer in silence.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and cry. Don’t feel ashamed to ask friends and family for help. You may be surprised by the kindness and support of those around you (Thank you to all the gems and stars who supported me. I see you!)

3. Do what is best for you

I never considered it a big deal how a baby got here, so long as they got here. So I found it surprising when some folks (I am looking at said folks through my side eye, mmhmm) seemed to be more interested in how I gave birth rather than how I was doing. Giving birth vaginally or through a cesarean delivery is not a competition or contest for an award. There is nothing shameful in bringing forth a human being into this world by either means.

Also, don’t let anyone convince you that massaging your stomach 2 times a day with the poop of an alligator will prevent stretch marks. That is just messed up.


P.S – I know a lot of African Christians proclaim and declare to give birth vaginally just like the Hebrew women. Positive thinking and speaking are great. However, if your doctor, midwife or gynecologist have advised on a caesarean delivery, please listen to them and keep you and your baby safe. Besides, you are not even Hebrew! Mmhmm.


4. Take care of you

Need I say more?

5. Have hope, you can do this!


If you have had or are having a difficult pregnancy, it can be challenging to envision an end. I thought I had my emotions all sorted for delivery but as soon as my son was placed in my arms after he was born, I was an emotional wreck and the floodgates opened. I had never seen anyone or anything so perfect.

“What’s his name?” The attending midwife asked
“Jedidiah Alexander

…you can call him Jedi”



23 comments on “Jedi.

  1. Marian Okpara

    Aww….such an awesome experience….He is such a cutie,plus being a mum is the best job in the world….Jedi is blessed,mum milly is blessed and dad Johnathan is blessed…proud of who u are milly and what u have become….Love and kisses to Jedi….


  2. Chinedu Okonkwo

    Wonderful piece! Very educative. Thanks so much. Congratulations once again on the arrival of Jedi. Words can’t express how happy I am for you and your husband. God bless you all incalculably.


  3. Millie =Making millions smile from miles away, nice1 dearie and congrats on your first mum experience!


  4. Oh nice stuff mil, I totally resonate with all you have written. Keep the spirit up always, it’s not easy being a mum. His grace is ever sufficient. Well done mum.


  5. Mfoniso Urua



  6. Wow am loving this cuzn …..send mi more pix darling

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jedi is growing more handsome by the day! 😍 Loved reading this. I know where to come for advice, support and encouragement when my time comes!


  8. chikezie nwariwe

    Congratulations to you n your husband. The write up is so on point, keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As always Millicent, excellently written, very valid points made. Thanks for sharing. Now, lets talk about these photos – all beautiful. My favourite of Jedi’s “selfies”, is the last one where he looks like “Yeah, I’m here now, whatyou gon do about it? Lol. Welcome Jedi. May you be a blessing to your generation.


  10. Congratulations again! Couldn’t agree more with the bit about how the baby arrived – C-Section or vaginal. That’s a message every expecting “Hebrew” woman should take very seriously!
    Wishing you and Jonathan the very best of parenthood. My wee ones still take my breath away…but I’ve thankfully now gone past the sleeplessness bit 😂.


  11. Wonuola Scott

    Congratulations again! Couldn’t agree more with the bit about how the baby arrived – C-Section or vaginal. That’s a message every expecting “Hebrew” woman should take very seriously!
    Wishing you and Jonathan the very best of parenthood. My wee ones still take my breath away…but I’ve thankfully now gone past the sleeplessness bit 😂.


  12. Will's Wise Words

    He is so gorgeous! I can’t believe that I haven’t met him yet! Auntie Sarah waiting for cuddles! x

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Reblogged this on PeeJay's Angle and commented:

    He still takes my breath (and sleep) away, the way he so trustingly rests his head on my chest is still unnerving…

    Millicent introduces our son, Jedidiah Alexander, sharing her experience of being a first-time mum with her usual wit and humour.

    Enjoy, share and please leave your comments.


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